Another Me

I loathe superficiality. 

But still I fell into this trap easily. Sometimes its tiring to be that person that you are not. Merely 2 hours at the gym is a test of mental strength and character. I was bombarded by people. Everyone asks and talks about the same things. I repeated the same answers over and over, only hoping to be left alone. 

It's sad, when I realised that I am no longer the naive little girl that I was, who was so flustered when someone asked for my number. Now I am weathered and cold inside (trust me, intrinsically I am full of love), though I could use a little sweetness and politeness to put up as a front. Being able to easily see through people is a sickening skill to acquire.

I yearn for that something to release me. From my own walls which I built up. I am afraid to fell into the pitfalls of adulthood where all u could think about is materialistic desires and possessions. MJ's death remind me painfully of how someone can still stay true their inner child and be who they really are despite what the rest of the world is against or has disposed of that ideal. I am not saying we should all dispense our money and start playing hide and seek because, unfortunately, society does not function in such empirical and simplistic way. 

All that said..what is exactly an appropriate definition for simplicity?  What is simple between people? Between lovers? Between friends? How ironic it is that we always yearned for something simple and yet it is always us who complicate things? And what lies beneath that calm and composed surface of people that you meet every day? I am extremely curious. 

I pray that I am not asking too much from the person that I will need. ok.. I need someone whom I can converse with on an intellectual level; someone whom I can laugh, cry and play with; Someone who listens to his inner child; Someone who is able to see the world in my eyes; someone who loves unconditionally. 

Maybe the last one is too trying to achieve. Even myself is not up to it. But we should never stop hoping and dreaming. I am saying all these is not because I am advertising for a boyfriend, but I realised the need to have a little idea of what I really want so when I am presented with one I would not miss it. And yes, I was reminded twice yesterday that I DO NOT have a boyfriend. Finally, if you think all that I've said is vague and non-essential then maybe you haven't get the point. 

Embrace the child that we are...

I hope I find you,

Kat.