Stranded on My Own Island

Hai...sometimes when you are in bad luck, it goes all the way down to the bottom and comes and goes like tides or maybe tsunamis. To think about it..this year really isn't a good year for me.

Like how I lost so many things in one go, like how memories are just wiped out in a blink of an eye, like how a dying relationship went completely dead, like how friends came and went, like how disappointment come so easily, like how fragile an ego can be, like how precious time has become.

Now I have something else to add to this bad year. I am on the verge of losing my qq, msn and email. Msn and email should be easy to get back but qq is totally another story. TX can never compare to microsoft in their customer service. Without hotmail I can still use gmail, without msn I can simply stop chatting, without qq I can..try not to think about it. But they are significant beyond just a bunch of applications. Besides their sentimental values, I have so much information inside that's too precious to be lost. Like strings tied to a kite, I do not want to cut those last strings to that kite. (Yes, I am trying to sound profound. )

BUT, I remain hopeful. This year is not over, maybe it's unfair to conclude that its a bad year after all. I hope good things will come my way soon. And there are plenty of good souls out there.


Psst..sometimes I wish I am a hacker. Oh no...

Happy Birthday to China

Happy National Day to China. 中国60大庆咯！

Wantons

A Good Meal?

These are some pictures to remind myself...to refrain from being too lazy when I am free and cook more often.


With Luv,
kat.

So long & Goodbye

Such a shame that you have to go. But I know you have gone to a better place.

I miss you, Jam.



With luv,
Kat

I Had A Bad Day

I felt anguished, disappointed, guilty, detached, frustrated, angry, helpless, hopeless, exhausted & lonely all in one day.

I cried and laughed all in one day. Sometimes it is hard not to feel like a robot, going through the motion of day to day life involuntarily. And then at the very end of it is death and eternal bliss. However, the only resurrection of the day is that I exercised self control. I have been very good at that recently. I guess eventually it will lead to less pain, as lessons have taught me before.

We are all learning as we go along. The only thing I need to learn right now, is to focus more on myself and the current tasks at hand. It's time to change things and get out of this state of emotional unrest.

Let me find my redemption, soon.

P.S.: Thanks to my friends who had shown me concern and support. I do appreciate everything and anything. :)

With love,

Kat

Glimpse

I adore your smiles.
They look so lovely.



So just smile more,
For it brightens someone's day.

The Way You Make Me Feel

Stolen






Beautiful images from flickr. I cant remb where they are from.



Do you miss me?

Kat.

Bad times..

So freaking sick....


Yesterday it was my left nostril and today it's my right nostril. Both of them take turns to turn on the tap. I cannot take this. Roarrr...

I guess for now I will do some self containment as I can't control my nose and the sneezes...I wouldn't want to see ppl freak out coz of me. OPPS...



With a running nose,
Kat.

The Days Are Gone When You Held My Hand

Every night I ask myself,
What am I really seeking?
Something that I could not find.

I lost my direction
I lost my wings
I lost my harbour
I lost my purpose

Every night when the birds are asleep,
It's the time that I think of you.
Time passing, people leaving
The world is not what I imagined it to be,
and you are no longer here with me.

I do not want to grow up
I do not want to change
I do not want to listen
I do not want to wait anymore

Every night I hope for it to rain,
As the coldness engulfs me,
Down goes into the darkest pit.
Spiraling, swirling,
The empty void awaits.


Once you said to me,
'I wanna grow old with you.'.
Now I could only smile,
as words of coldness eats me up,
Let's just be friends.

Me myself and I

There you go,

haha!

Ah Hah!

Salute me for I am good at getting into trouble!
Can I just mind my own business?
No! Coz I care/can.
I don't let things go that easily,
For I would be sorry if I do.

But I guess we always had to learn the hard way?
I did my best and tried even harder..
Maybe I need to work on words of persuasion?
For they aren't good enough.
Somehow I did see it coming,
Still..we like to be fools.

You are who you wanna be,
or what your words say you are.
I bow before your masquerade,
for denial is the new black.
Reality would be bland,
not for the drama we are in.

'I's, 'Me's, and 'Myself's,
Lets have some change.
How about 'We's, 'Us's and 'Our's?
Understanding is not necessary,
Provocation is a prerequisite,
Respect is never an English word.

I heard all there is to say,
except for the right answer.
and so I told myself,
What a great lesson learnt.
There's only one line,
separating trust and disgust.


I have said enough
so have a nice day!



With disgust,
Kat

How Does one Handle Oneself?

When render is slow.. when work is stacked against me..

when sad news are flying all around...

I need something..

to cheer me up..

I don't feel too good inside..

Kat

On 23 February..

Happy Birthday !


smiless..

Kat

The bad luck continues..

Of all things essential, my internet just died suddenly......i repeat, suddenly! one hour ago it was ok and after a short nap when i came back the bloody router was giving me the red light. No reset will do wonder..i tried..

Now i am out of connection til Monday..and the nice lil modem they have is out of stock. I dont get it..it's MIO...isnt it the newest?? well...another lesson learnt: do not connect every telecommunication devices at home. Its not just my internet connection that is down. my house phone is out as well now..And my mobile service is under StarHub. So when i tried calling SingNet, the number is invalid! Out of options, I have to resort to borrowing my neighbour's phone to call...after 3 transfers that is..and yet further confirmation is needed.....

very efficient...and I can't help but complain..


Kat

Single but NOT unavailable...NOT anymore..

Finally....i have thought it through...

3 years....not really long and not too short. Maybe right at the start i shouldnt see hope. Just like wat Farah said what she would have done if she's in my shoes two and a half years ago...there are times that i wanted to break free and forget.. now when i think again i realised i should've put in all to savage the situation..



However, I am happy..and content...and now i finally have the courage to leave all these behind me..


maybe that's wat they say..释怀..


Lookin' ever more forward,
Kat

It's all a matter of uncertainty

I saw someone who looks like you, but it's just a glimpse, too fleeting..too unreal.

Memories..maybe i should just let them go..buried away and so the pain will go away... i guess no one understands wat its really like...and to not care bout wat one cares...

it's been years...and i am accustomed to this waiting game..i tried to change but still its hard to let go...and i am scared, to let anybody else down...

Maybe i am waiting for nothing, maybe i am wrong, maybe you just dont care anymore.

One may end while another begins, here i am, waiting..

Counting down to the days to a cold winter! Away from the hot and humid Singapore for once..and also looking forward to the first reunion dinner back home in 10 years..

It's been a long time....ironic as it seems coz the wait has been so long that it becomes negligible and no long matters..to think that initially i couldnt care less to check the timing to make sure i can go home and was prepared to stay back in sg alone while my parents celebrate cny back home.

when i checked, the timing matched and at most i will be only missing an one-day-lesson which poses no big problem? anyway i am already in hol mood which might explain for my status of idle and MIA-ing....having some time for myself right now...good or bad i dont really know..i simply lost interest...in work..ha


Idling like nobody's business,
Kat

Closet secrets

I dun know how this is all going to turn out, it sounds stupid, but I am left with no choice..cross my fingers and hope for the best, after all...it's been so many years.

In the mean time, I am trying to make myself happy, even things aren't always going my way..think positively and remember to

SMILE!

With Luv..
Kat

What you see is not what you get...

I may have a turn to ask you:

"Am I a good person to you?"


what will be your verdict?

Just remember..what you see on the outside may not be what u get in the inside..
Judge not until you really know


A story can have many endings, but choose wisely..

With Luv,
Kat